Valentine's Day and Nonattachment

Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to learn nonattachment. Buddhists practice this by ridding themselves of all expectations. Holding onto an outcome creates suffering. Letting go of the result creates a sense of joy and freedom.

We can be attached to a thing, a person, an idea, an outcome. All attachment heeds the same result -- suffering when things don't go the way we hoped and planned.

Valentine's Day often is a huge let-down. We hope for the most romantic and perfect evening, gift, experience. We want to compare -- share with our friends how wonderful our holiday was -- and yet -- nothing is ever perfect. No person or thing can ever truly fulfill all of our needs. No material gift can truly give us joy. For the most part, we can enjoy it for a moment and then we're bored and ready for something (or somebody) else. This hope of something outside of us fulfilling us -- vs. our inner self fulfilling us -- is an illusion/distortion of the ego. It is not the truth.

The ego always wants more. The ego only thinks of itself. The ego wants to judge, compare, manipulate, take. It's the ego part of ourselves that gets angry and upset when things don't go its way. It's the ego that gets attached. The part of us that is connected to God -- the "I AM" -- only knows love and connection to others. In fact, it doesn't even think in terms of "others" -- it only thinks in terms of "we."

When we come from the "I AM" part of ourselves, we only think about how we can serve others in this world. We learn the true meaning of love, joy, peace. We have no enemies and we wish only goodness to everyone. "May you be happy, healthy, safe, peaceful and free!" becomes our constant mantra. Valentine's Day disappears completely as an isolated day but becomes every day instead. We live to serve and please in our own special and unique way.

What is the true meaning of a relationship anyway? Is it meant as an opportunity to get something -- in particular "sex" -- anytime you want? Or is it meant as an opportunity for growth, experience, change, support? Once again, expecting something from a relationship is attachment but letting go, helping each other, supporting each other, opening to growth is a joyful experience. Few relationships are this way. Most want from each other. They hope to fill each other's emptiness. This constant disappointment leads to break-ups and new empty relationships -- the same cycle again and again. What do you want? Do you truly want to be happy or would you rather just live the drama?

It is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Connecting to the divine energy of love and universal harmony and letting go of the darkness in our hearts is a choice. Forgiveness, openness, love, kindness, concern, peace -- these are all choices. Letting go of the nonsense, the attachments, the ego are choices as well.

So for those who have not met their partners yet and hate Valentine's Day, there are some messages, as well. First, don't be angry -- anger, jealousy, hatred all shut you down, close you off from meeting someone wonderful. You can only meet someone when you are open to meeting someone. Ask yourself -- do I really want to meet someone at this time? If you truly do, then trust that it will happen! See it, visualize it, send a message to your soulmate that you are ready to meet. It really does work if you believe. The second message is a reminder again that nothing and no one can fulfill us. We must love ourselves first. We must fill ourselves with all the wonders of the world first. Yes -- you've heard it a thousand times before but it really is true.

By the way, no matter how wonderful our relationship is, a person can disappear from us at any moment -- nothing is forever. Also, people are inclined to say "my" boyfriend, "my" wife, "my" cat, "my" _______ . This is ownership. We don't ever truly own another -- when love exists, there is no ownership. All are lessons about nonattachment and love.

So enjoy the moment with yourself or your family or your loved one or the whole universe on Valentine's Day! Just love -- just be happy -- just find joy in life -- in the moment -- and your world will change forever!

MAY WE ALL BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, SAFE, PEACEFUL AND FREE!!!